Strona główna Działy English Zone Complaint letter of the year :)

Wyświetlanych postów: 7 (wszystkich: 1)
  • Autor
    Wpisy
  • #15500
    fatemeh
    Participant

    Below is a copy of a letter that won a competition in UK as complaint letter of the year…have a laugh and
    read on.

    Complaint Letter of the Year. The British do have a way with words…. A real-life customer complaint
    letter sent to NTL (to their complaints dept….)
    Dear Cretins,
    I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for
    your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this
    three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had
    not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity
    of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details,
    so that you can either pursue your professional perogative, and seek to
    rectify these difficulties – or more likely (I suspect) so that you can
    have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working
    day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:
    My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my
    spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your
    technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57
    minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more
    annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful
    website….HOW?
    I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes
    – an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.
    The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later,
    although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools –
    such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem
    had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem
    arrived… six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.
    I estimate your internet server’s downtime is roughly 35%… hours
    between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am
    still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my
    mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a
    variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly
    skilled bollock jugglers.
    I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone
    will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone
    will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows
    whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off);
    that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an
    answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be
    transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating
    Scottish robot woman…and several other variations on this theme.
    Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a
    thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of
    those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don’t
    care, it’s far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration’s
    in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me,
    therefore, if I continue.
    I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of godawful
    customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more
    disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to
    their customers. That’s why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn’t
    anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered
    to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless
    shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of
    distended rectum incompetents of the highest order.
    British Telecom – wankers though they are – shine like brilliant beacons
    of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless
    inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and
    foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that
    you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for
    the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to
    deliver – any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and
    disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused
    rage. I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my
    cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for
    both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not
    become desiccated during transit – they were satisfyingly moist at the
    time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did
    not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them
    the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless
    employees.
    Have a nice day – may it be the last in you miserable short life, you
    irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.
    John

    😆

    #90119
    kunegunda
    Participant

    kolego nie wiem w jakim archiwum to znalazles ale ten list ma juz kilka lat 🙂

    #90120
    fatemeh
    Participant

    Emglish only!
    Najwyrazniej dotarl do mnie z opoznieniem… bywa 😕

    #90132
    GAWEL
    Participant

    Warning: get_class() expects parameter 1 to be object, null given in /home/kwiatkow/domains/leeds-manchester.pl/public_html/wp-content/plugins/bbpress-bbcode/class_bbpress2-bbcode.php on line 193
    fatemeh wrote:

    Emglish only!
    😕

    czyzby ? 😉

    #90136
    Ivi
    Participant

    Hahaha:)

    #90137
    fatemeh
    Participant

    Everyone is having a good laugh – and that was the point. The means do not really matter…

    #90150
    kunegunda
    Participant

    I’m so sorry but i don’t speak Emglish. 😀

Wyświetlanych postów: 7 (wszystkich: 1)
  • <a href="/login/">Zaloguj się</a> aby odpowiedzieć. Nie masz jeszcze konta? <a href="/login/?action=register">Zarejestruj się</a>.